I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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