I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
