who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
