The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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