I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
