I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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