elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
