Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
