I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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