Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
