found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
