Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
