i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
