epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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