I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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