She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
