This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
he was CRYING into my vagina
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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