maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
