i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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