the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
