did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
and she was petting her beer can
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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