Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
