how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
