Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
