Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
