Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
