the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
