At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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