And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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