I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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