I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
