well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
