Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
