He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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