what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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