My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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