So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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