I must be too annoying 4 u.
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
