At least make sure they are 18
Why
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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