ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
