he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
