He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
