Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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