wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
The power of my boobs compel you
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
