Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
