its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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