I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
