I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
