Banned from zoo.
Again?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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