Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
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