is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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