All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
